<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Lost Words by DryadOffical (HalfDryad)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23505139">Lost Words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfDryad/pseuds/DryadOffical'>DryadOffical (HalfDryad)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kane and Feels (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Lucifer goes non-verbal for a bit, M/M, Neurodivergent Lucifer Kane, Neurodiversity, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:42:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23505139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfDryad/pseuds/DryadOffical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Talking around Brutus was one of the easiest things in the world, he could talk for hours on end about something he had even a slight interest in, and Brutus… would listen to him. Brutus always seemed interested in the things he had to say and never just ignored him or pretended to care. </p><p>There were other people he cared about from the past, friends, lovers, the like, who he would not be able to get a word out to. The nonverbal times were few and far between, but this one…. has shocked him. Lucifer can feel his shoulders slump as he stands in front of Brutus, floundering like a fish, trying to push the words out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brutus Feels/Lucifer Kane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lost Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First fic for this podcast, which honestly, is one of my faves and I needed to add to the little pile that there is. Especially with these two as a couple, which I just. Adore. </p><p>But this could also be read as platonic, as I feel these two work well as something like that, but I just also like exploring the more romantic side to these two and what they could be, with their dynamic and the show and such.</p><p>Also, regarding Lucifer's non-verbal moments and such, I'm taking from my own experiences with this, as someone who is autistic, I... project heavily onto Lucifer with how he does things and how he feels the same!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was after the funeral, and Lucifer was still… hovering around Brutus’ bed as the man slept off what happened to him. From where Lucifer was standing and looking at Brutus, the sleeping man seemed younger, the lines that usually framed his eyes and mouth were smoothed out and his face softer. Lucifer makes a face and leaves the room, having checked up on the man enough for the moment, and makes himself…. something to eat. Just to pick at as he’s looking through cases for them to potentially take down the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was silent for a long time, long enough where Kane turned on his record player and turned it on a low volume, enough to hear from his desk, but not loud enough for it to be picked up beyond Brutus’ door. It was something soft, instrumental, and let Lucifer think as he went about his day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Brutus woke up, and they had a small chat about what had happened, about what was going on, and what. Everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>was. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kane went on for a long time even after he thought he should have stopped, but Brutus was still listening like he always did, but now he wasn’t interrupting with usual jabs, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>listening </span>
  </em>
  <span>and sitting there in his large recliner that Lucifer has fantasies about climbing into the space between one arm and Brutus’ side. Eugh. Horrible thoughts. He stopped talking after finishing off his last point or another, better to do that than to cut himself off mid ramble and have Feels question him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next few days were calm ones, filled with calls that fell flat and leads to other things that came up dead. Lucifer was getting a little stir crazy, despite going out a couple times a day, he just wasn’t doing anything productive. He felt like an animal in a cage and he wanted to do something, so he was, to Brutus’ amusement, sitting in the little alcove that got the most sun during the day when it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> sunny. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re like a cat.” Comes Brutus’ voice from the kitchen as he makes them both a cup of tea. Lucifer makes a face from his spot, putting the book down in his lap as he cranes his neck to look at Brutus as best as he can. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about, Brutus?” He questions, voice raising an octave ever so slightly. Feels finally finishes up their tea and walks over to where Kane is, handing him the cup of coffee which he happily takes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sunning yourself, the cat does that sometimes when it’s around.” A fond chuckle. “It’s a sight.” Feels sits down in his large chair with a soft sigh. Lucifer makes a face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer looks into his tea cup, seeing his scowling reflecting looking back at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer takes a second to flick his eyes to Brutus, who is reclined ever so slightly in his chair, his own book in hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer stands and places his teacup down and then. Doesn’t know what to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay there Luc?” Brutus asks, looking up at Kane with a questioning expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I okay?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes of course I am. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Really? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am…” For the first time in a long time, the words he wants to form, get stuck in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Talking around Brutus was one of the easiest things in the world, he could talk for hours on end about something he had even a slight interest in, and Brutus… would </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen </span>
  </em>
  <span>to him. Brutus always seemed interested in the things he had to say and never just ignored him or pretended to care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were other people he cared about from the past, friends, lovers, the like, who he would not be able to get a word out to. The nonverbal times were few and far between, but this one…. has </span>
  <em>
    <span>shocked </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. Lucifer can feel his shoulders slump as he stands in front of Brutus, floundering like a fish, trying to push the words out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luc…” he can see Brutus shift, like he’s going to stand and come over to him. Lucifer shakes his head, and makes his own way over to Brutus instead, and shoves himself right in that warm space between the large man and the arm of the leather chair. Brutus… tenses first a moment before relaxing and sitting back in the chair fully again, getting comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just wanna sit here?” Brutus asks, voice gentle. Lucifer nods. “I think we can handle that.” And then the larger man goes back to reading his book, and Lucifer. Lucifer shifts a bit to get comfortable against the warmer man, and presses his forehead against his shoulder, and falls asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer wakes up some time later in the same position, now only that it’s dark in the flat, the only light coming from the lamp on his desk. Brutus is still next to him, his cheek resting on top of Lucifer’s head. That position can’t be comfortable. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and shoves at the larger man, just needing to get up and stretch his legs and get away from the furnace of a man for a moment. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>get used to the cuddling. Brutus was warm, soft, and large, and a pleasant man to be cooped up with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Brutus wakes up and looks up at where Kane is taking their empty cups into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a good nap?” Brutus asks, voice gravelly from sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Sorry about that, sometimes…..” he takes a breath. “Sometimes words are simply hard to form, even if I know what I want to say.” Lucifer pushes the cups around in the sink for a moment before looking back to Brutus. Brutus is smiling at him, softly, sweetly. It makes him feel something in the pit of his stomach that he hasn’t felt in some time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fondness? No. He’s felt fondness towards Brutus for a long time. And this feeling is relatively new. Adoration? He knew it wasn’t love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Lucifer thinks that this is something that could turn into that exact thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh dear this was a feeling he hasn’t felt in years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer makes his way back over and sits back down next to Brutus, who instantly pulls him into an embrace, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>holds </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was a feeling Lucifer Kane could get used to again, especially with the feelings being related to Brutus Feels. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you'd like to chat about the show or anything else, I'm literally always down for something like that!! You can find me @transjonmartin on tumblr, and @HalfDryad on twitter! </p><p>I'm also always open for requests for short little things like this, as I find them the easiest for me to do, and just are fun</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>